Navigating the Holidays with an Eating Disorder: A Guide to Self-Care and Compassion

Authored by Mandy Kryzsiak, MSS Candidate and The Understory Group Intern

The holiday season can be a joyful time, full of celebrations, gatherings, and moments of connection. However, for individuals dealing with an eating disorder, this time of year can also bring heightened stress, anxiety, and feelings of pressure related to food, body image, and social expectations. The abundance of festive foods, family dynamics, and societal pressures to "enjoy" the season can make it feel overwhelming, even triggering. 

If you're managing an eating disorder, the holidays can present a unique challenge. But it’s possible to navigate this season with care and self-compassion. Here are some practical tips to help you cope with the holiday season while prioritizing your mental and physical health. 

1. Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself 

The holidays come with an inherent expectation to feel happy, festive, and carefree. However, it's important to recognize that this may not always be your experience, and that’s okay. Allow yourself the space to feel whatever you're feeling without judgment. It's also essential to

acknowledge that you don't have to "perform" during this time. You have the right to set boundaries and take care of your mental and physical health. 

2. Communicate Your Needs 

If you're attending family gatherings or holiday events, it might be helpful to communicate your needs with loved ones ahead of time. Let them know if you’re feeling anxious about certain foods, social situations, or comments related to body image. A supportive family or friend will understand your concerns and can help create a more comfortable environment for you. You don’t owe anyone explanations, but having open conversations can sometimes alleviate pressure. 

3. Create a Holiday Plan 

Having a plan in place can give you a sense of control and help reduce stress. This plan might include setting boundaries around food, knowing which events you want to attend (or skip), and establishing safe spaces where you can take a break if needed. It can also be helpful to decide in advance what kind of self-care activities will support you during stressful moments—whether that’s taking a walk, practicing mindfulness, or seeking out a quiet space. 

4. Focus on the Meaning of the Holidays 

Instead of letting food or your body image dominate your holiday experience, try to shift your focus to the aspects of the season that bring you joy—whether that’s connecting with loved ones, volunteering, or engaging in traditions that make you feel grounded. Engaging in non-food-related activities can help you feel more present and connected during a time when it’s easy to get overwhelmed by external pressures. 

5. Be Gentle with Yourself 

The holidays are a time when there can be an added focus on eating, indulging, and festive treats. This can be particularly challenging for someone with an eating disorder, especially if there’s fear of "losing control." It's important to practice self-compassion during these moments. If you find yourself struggling, it’s okay to step back and recalibrate. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that this moment is temporary, and that it's okay to ask for help if you need it. 

6. Avoid Negative Self-Talk 

During the holiday season, there might be more opportunities for self-critical thoughts related to food or body image, especially in social settings where others may comment on weight or appearance. These moments can be emotionally draining, but it’s crucial to practice positive self-talk. Remind yourself that your worth is not defined by your body or what you eat. It's okay to take a moment to ground yourself with affirmations like "I am enough," "I deserve to enjoy this season," or "I am worthy of care and kindness." 

7. Seek Professional Support 

If you are in active recovery from an eating disorder, the holidays might be a good time to check in with your therapist, dietitian, or support group. They can help you prepare strategies for managing potential triggers, offer guidance if you’re feeling overwhelmed, and provide a safe

space to process your emotions. Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support during this challenging time. 

8. Know When to Say No 

You don’t have to attend every event or celebration, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation if you choose to bow out of certain gatherings. If you feel that a particular situation might be too triggering or stressful, it's okay to prioritize your well-being and skip it. Saying "no" can be empowering and can help you preserve your mental health. 

9. Practice Mindfulness 

Mindfulness is a powerful tool when it comes to navigating difficult emotions around food and body image. By staying present and practicing deep breathing techniques, you can reduce anxiety and create space for a more balanced perspective. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed during a holiday meal or gathering, try to center yourself with a few mindful breaths or take a moment to step outside and clear your mind. 

10. Remember That Healing Is a Journey 

No matter how far you’ve come in your recovery, the holidays can still present challenges. Remind yourself that healing is a journey and that setbacks don’t erase the progress you’ve made. It’s okay if some moments feel difficult; what matters is how you handle them and show up for yourself with kindness and understanding. 

Conclusion: Navigating the Holidays with Compassion 

While the holidays can feel particularly overwhelming when dealing with an eating disorder, they also offer an opportunity to practice self-compassion, create supportive environments, and engage in moments of joy outside of food. By setting realistic expectations, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support when needed, you can navigate this time of year with greater ease. Above all, remember that you are not alone—many people face similar challenges, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. 

You deserve to experience the holiday season in a way that supports your mental and physical well-being. Be kind to yourself, and allow yourself the grace to move through the holidays at your own pace.